Advice 2 : How to refuse to be a godfather
In some cases it is better to refuse to be a godfather
There is a perception that it is impossible to refuse the offer to be a godparent parent – supposedly it's a sin. However, the godparents are responsible primarily for the morality of his godson, so must take responsibility for the spiritual upbringing of the child.
Godparents must be Orthodox believers, possessing high moral qualities. To bestow baby gifts – the main function of godparents. Spending time with the godchild, the godparents needs to talk with him on themes of kindness, love, moral values. They should attach the child to Church to visit with him the Shrine, led to the communion, to teach prayer to tell others about God. In the opinion of Church Ministers, godparents must have faith and repentance are called for in order to send them, to teach them his godson.
Pondering the offer to be a godparent, ask yourself the question – will you pray for this child as for their mother?
If you realize that do not meet these requirements, or do not feel in itself forces to help parents in the religious upbringing of the child, do not lay on their shoulders a crushing burden. To be a bad godfather worse than to refuse to be.
How to refuse an offer to be a godfather
If you are fully aware that it is not ready for the responsibility, which rests on the cross, and do not feel desire to take care of godson, but I'm afraid his refusal to ruin friendships with the parents of the baby, prepare for your conversation with them.
We can assume that when friends have a baby, you will be asked to be a godparent, because a good friend is usually a potential godfather. Knowing this in advance, do not respond immediately to their offer. Let the parents of the child know that you are very pleased what they want to entrust the spiritual upbringing of their child. Explain that in all seriousness about the sacrament of baptism and know how to be a good godfather. Ask them for time to think. Thus you will prepare your friends to what your answer may be only positive. Along the way, explain to them what functions should be performed by the godparents. Young parents may not know about them. Hint that you do not fully possess some qualities necessary for the religious upbringing of the child.
Refusing to become the godfather, honestly tell your parents that you will not be able to provide sufficient attention to their child, not ready to teach him morals, but you like their kid and hang around with him, even becoming the godfather.
Parents want their child all the best and, no doubt, will understand your refusal, and this will not affect your friendship.
Advice 3 : Can a godchild inherit the fate of godmother: the Orthodox view
There is an opinion that cannot be selected for a female cross mother, being a widow. Otherwise, the fate of the godmother may be transferred to the godchild. The Orthodox Church clearly gives his view on the issue– no transfer "curse" and "fate" from the godfather (godparents) to the godchildren is not happening.
In Orthodox theology there is no concept of "fate" as such. So to talk about the future as something independent from the person directly from the divine will (in the context of the Christian faith) makes no sense. Orthodox people do not believe in fate. So we should not talk about transfer of fate from godmother to goddaughter. That's absurd, absolutely non-Orthodox opinion. Indeed, in the sacrament of baptism there is a spiritual kinship between godparents and godchild, but that doesn't mean the relationship is "fate".
The Orthodox Church gives clear guidance about who can be godparents and who is not. Of widowers and widows says nothing. This category of people does not fall under the prohibition to be godparents. Consistent with the Christian worldview, we must remember that the godparents need not be married to each other (cross mom and dad), can not be godparents of physiological parents, atheists, cultists, representatives of non-Orthodox confessions; it is undesirable to choose godparents though baptized, but non-people. The Orthodox Church advises us to choose godparents in those people who are aware of the doctrine of the Church, because the heirs have the responsibility of raising a child in the Orthodox faith.
Thus, an Orthodox person should not pay attention to superstitions associated with the transfer of "destiny" from the godfather to godchildren.