The Church told the man that the memory of our deceased loved ones is not only a religious duty and obligation of every Christian. First of all, it should be a moral need of the human soul, a manifestation of love to those people who have completed their earthly journey.
The Church defines the main components of all souls, namely, the prayer for the dead, acts of charity, helping others in memory of deceased loved ones. We should not forget about the duty of maintenance of burial places) in good purity. That is why the tradition of visiting cemeteries on parent days is an important part of the memory of the dead.
Christian believers need to distinguish superstition from true Orthodox tradition. To the wicked customs that have penetrated into our lives, are the remembrance in the cemeteries of the dead of alcohol, leaving the graves of drinks with vodka and cigarettes. The believer must understand that the burial place of our neighbor is Holy, therefore, behave in the graveyard of the pious.
In Church tradition there is no concept of the remembrance of the dead with alcohol, because the term "remembrance" indicates the need for prayerful memory of the deceased. No sense practice of leaving the products on the graves of the dead because the dead do not need material food. Blasphemous is pouring on the graves of vodka. All these customs entered into people's life in the Soviet period as a replacement for the main reason for the Orthodox memorial prayer in memory of the deceased.
Believer, you must know that such wicked traditions had no place in pre-revolutionary Russia, therefore, incorrect to say that "it has always been". In this regard, there is no need to continue to adhere to such practices.