Orthodox people should realise that the main purpose of visiting the cemetery is a remembrance of the deceased person. The commemoration of the deceased to the cemetery should not be done through eating any food. Remember the food at the burial site does not recommend the Orthodox Church. Most importantly, what should a Christian pray for the dead. Those who do not know certain prayers for the dead are allowed to simply impose the sign of the cross and his words to ask God's forgiveness for the sins of the deceased.
You need to understand also that at the cemetery, a Christian should behave reverently. We cannot allow foul language, the chant of spirits. All of this is a desecration of the memory of the deceased.
Every Christian needs to monitor the cleanliness of the graves of deceased relatives and friends. So, the cemetery can be clean, to restore order at the grave. This is one of the duties of a Christian towards the deceased. Thus, it is impossible to litter on the graves. It is not recommended to leave any food on the graves, because the dead do not need material food. Sometimes it happens that the abandoned food eat up dogs.
An Orthodox Christian can lay fresh flowers on the grave of the deceased, and also put a burning candle in memory of the deceased. Candle can be left at the cemetery.
Leaving the place of burial, it is necessary to re-impose the sign of the cross with a prayer for the forgiveness of sins of the deceased. Worth a look, all the debris removed, if anything needed improvement, it should be done, but nothing more to leave the graveyard.
Thus, it appears that the main goal of a Christian parish to the place of burial is remembrance in prayer the deceased and cleaning the grave for podderjaniya purity.
Advice 2 : The attitude of Orthodoxy to the tradition of "remembrance" in the cemetery
The Church told the man that the memory of our deceased loved ones is not only a religious duty and obligation of every Christian. First of all, it should be a moral need of the human soul, a manifestation of love to those people who have completed their earthly journey.
The Church defines the main components of all souls, namely, the prayer for the dead, acts of charity, helping others in memory of deceased loved ones. We should not forget about the duty of maintenance of burial places) in good purity. That is why the tradition of visiting cemeteries on parent days is an important part of the memory of the dead.
Christian believers need to distinguish superstition from true Orthodox tradition. To the wicked customs that have penetrated into our lives, are the remembrance in the cemeteries of the dead of alcohol, leaving the graves of drinks with vodka and cigarettes. The believer must understand that the burial place of our neighbor is Holy, therefore, behave in the graveyard of the pious.
In Church tradition there is no concept of the remembrance of the dead with alcohol, because the term "remembrance" indicates the need for prayerful memory of the deceased. No sense practice of leaving the products on the graves of the dead because the dead do not need material food. Blasphemous is pouring on the graves of vodka. All these customs entered into people's life in the Soviet period as a replacement for the main reason for the Orthodox memorial prayer in memory of the deceased.
Believer, you must know that such wicked traditions had no place in pre-revolutionary Russia, therefore, incorrect to say that "it has always been". In this regard, there is no need to continue to adhere to such practices.