How not to allow to yell at yourself

To deal with the fact that you raise your voice, unfortunately, from time to time have all. Confrontation may occur in transport and in the store, cinema and restaurant, at home and at work. Screaming in rage a colleague and passing on raised tone mother-in-law are no different from the flashy saleswoman or hysterical neighbor in the stairwell – all these people simply have no right to yell at you. Your task is to give them to understand it.

Instruction

1. Change what you can change. You are able to control emotional intensity and tone of voice of another person, but you can influence them, using simple psychological techniques. In conversation with a man who began to shout over you in any case don't need to speak louder on the contrary, slow down the rate of speech and lower voice. Say confidently, firmly, but quietly and slowly.
2. Ignoring the screaming man, you only exacerbate the situation, give up and show your weakness. Stop any activity you are doing at that moment, when someone dared to raise my voice at you. Even if you are driving, but some of the passengers decided to snarl at you, Park it, and show that the screamer has managed to attract your attention and you are not afraid of future events and not hide from his turbulent emotions.
3. Watch a screaming man in the eye. If you lower your head or will you look away to the side, the aggressor will decide that you are ashamed or that his insults had achieved its goal. If you look at screaming with polite interest, he begins to feel increasingly stupid.
4. Reduce "heat of passion", ask the screamer to sit, if he should call someone to participate in your conversation, offer the crying man a drink of water, but not order, namely the offer. Switch his attention.
5. Just ask the screamer to stop. Ask him to tone down and cease to attract attention. Tell me, what will you say to him when he is ready – "I need you to speak slowly and clearly so I could hear your argument and understand your point of view, you might try to talk quieter?".
6. Don't take the rants of a man screaming at his own expense. As a rule, the screaming man trying to rip my accumulated irritation, you are only "outlet", but not the cause. Even if you cry because you really did something wrong, the aggressor does not respond to you personally, and the situation that occurred earlier.
7. Resort to someone's help, if screaming is becoming more aggressive. In America, in this case, call 911, and the Russians have to rely only on themselves. If you shout the mother-in-law, call her husband or a close friend, let "giving a concert" lady realize that she had the "students" except you. Dial the phone of the boyfriend, if the neighbor dared to raise my voice at you. In the case of inadequate person on the street, can trigger a call to the police. In public places you need to access the security – it is their task to keep order in the territory.
8. If screaming man is not willing to calm down, go away. Do not engage in dialogue, not to explain their actions, just turn your back and go about their business. If you raised your voice on the phone, hang up. The source was the first to break the rules of etiquette and you are not obligated in this situation to be "good".