This need does not always receive understanding from our loved ones. It often happens that the head of the family tries to suppress their loved ones and even humiliate them. As a consequence of this attitude is the resentment of the wife and children. In turn, my wife also has claims on her husband, and if they are not met, the effect of unfulfilled expectations, which again will hurt.
The relationship of loved ones and the family environment made up of trifles, of small events: General business, holidays and quarrels and conflicts. If the negative is not removed, will accumulate stress, which will lead to serious problems in relations between spouses.
Now mainly for the stability of family relations meets the woman, so she has to take the initiative in their hands and deal with family problems. To start is to decide what I take offense to the husband? For example, the list of grievances one woman:
- does not earn money ( and hence does not seek to provide for the family)
- does not participate in the upbringing of children (and therefore doesn't like them)
- says that does not respect women ( and therefore doesn't respect me)
Such an attitude to the husband creates a psychological block that prevents her from communicating with her husband - she is looking at him as an enemy. Because the subconscious mind is deeply rooted idea: "He loves me not, loves children. So he's a bad person". Gradually the image of her husband in the eyes of the wife takes on more sinister traits, and after another scandal there is such a strong resentment at her husband, to life, to myself , that even shoot.
To live permanently in the offense is impossible, therefore, comes the moment of reconciliation, some time all is well again. But the trace of resentment remains, and the following argument will lead to even stronger emotions. How to overcome this condition? Make it easy, especially if spouses live a long and stress has accumulated. But at desire it is possible.
The most effective way in overcoming resentment - speech. You need to tell each other everything that is bothering, what pleases, what offends and annoys. The insights of family psychologists, spouses who have lived together for 20 years may not know of each other's needs, just because we don't talk about them. For example, as a wife, who all her life ate the crust from the bread, though not loved them, and the flesh gave to her husband. And he loved the crust, but did not dare to deprive the wife of your favorite Goodies and was silent. Over a lifetime, they even such a trifle from finding out what to speak about more global things...
And there are families where spouses write each other letters. That can't speak aloud, as they write a letter and give it to someone on offense. They found this technique because I wanted clarity in the relationship, and reached them. One venerable couple are still sending each other audio messages by writing them on an old cassette recorder. They lived together for 40 years.
If the family is not accepted to share with each other their problems, start with questions. Ask how your husband was at work. Even in the case of monosyllabic answer to the second and third day will ask the question again. The work occupies an important place in the life of men, sooner or later he will talk to you and you will become closer to each other. Be sure to remember, what he told you, and next time ask something more specific about his work, tell us about your so the contact will become closer, and you begin to understand your spouse.
Psychologists say that every woman have a lifetime to educate your husband, and not to be offended. Affection, love, gentleness, a woman will do a lot more than shouts and tears. Try to make one very effective exercise that will help you see yourself through the eyes of her husband - it will remove 50% of the resentment. Imagine that you are your husband (better to close the eyes). Here you come home from work and you met the wife. Which picture has now arisen in your imagination? What do you see yourself through the eyes of a husband? That you are positive and which negative? As you move, talk, what's your relationship to her husband? How he reacts to you? (Exercise from the book of Svetlana Peunova "my house - My fortress").
Do this exercise often and you will understand a lot in relationship with my husband, and will be less offended by it. The fact that the causes of our grievances are much deeper than we can imagine. It is therefore important to understand yourself, in your attitude to life in General. You may require the husband too much, and he doesn't want or can't give you this, man to man, responds with aggression.
Decide your requirements and imagine a husband the same thing will require you to - you like it? Any man wants in his family was cozy, warm and happy. He loves his wife, and children, but in their own way, like a man, and often not able to Express their love. Try to honestly talk with your husband about what is bothering you. And whatever the result, he will appreciate it.