Why a woman first comes to reconciliation?
Practice shows that with family and loved ones put up the most difficult. The explanation of this phenomenon may be the fact that the susceptibility of people to the actions of your favorite high. Resentment that was caused by loved ones, left a deep imprint. This person is not able to soberly assess and easy to survive. But, nevertheless, if a loved one was wronged, and seek reconciliation with him.
Psychologists suggest women to go for reconciliation first. The reason for this they consider the fact that it is easier to do this because of the stronger emotional side. This is not wrong, but it's not just forgiveness. If a woman comes to reconciliation first, it means that deep down, she forgave her husband.
How to get your husband first to go to reconciliation?
The main reason she doesn't want to forgive before it, is the fear that this situation will happen again. And then the husband will understand that you don't have to put up with the wife first, because she will always do it for him. Thus, he will not consider himself guilty, and his behavior under such circumstances will become the norm.
The question arises, why would a man that will always hurt his wife without a twinge of conscience. But unfortunately, life is arranged so that not a single man is imperfect. They may not notice their mistakes, but that is the reality. Therefore, the easiest and most effective way to indicate the person's faults is to make him feel the same for yourself.
Not enough just to want to reconcile with your husband, you need to be able to make it so that he realized his guilt. You need to make him realize the mistakes he committed not to repeat them in the future. Here you need to act wisely, controlling his emotions. There are several stages of conversation with her husband:
1. Indication husband on his guilt.
2. To make a man learned how to listen.
3. The transition to the essence of the problem.
4. Listening to the arguments of the husband.
As for the first step, then sometimes a man just doesn't know about his guilt, but may not be suitable to the wife of pride. Perhaps during the scandal, the wife insulted him so that he doesn't want to put up first. However, the reason may be that the husband is just sure he is right. He looks at circumstances only from one point of view.
Whatever the situation may be, there are reasons why the husband believes that truth is on his side. You need to understand that it, and its worldview is at odds, so you need to point out to him the existence of another point of view.
In the second paragraph you need to get your husband to listen to yourself. To start you just need to apologize. This will include person to person, and he wants to listen to it. And this is exactly what you need now is wife.
If you look at life correctly, we can understand — there's always something to apologize for. It may be harsh words and elevated tone, and impatience. Just need to explain man, for what sounded apology.
Now you can move on to the next item. Is to explain to my husband my point of view, not using in his speech, the unions "but", "a", "only". Thus it is necessary to try not to switch sides. You must describe to her husband the feelings and the pain she experienced during an argument. So you can show him how it looked from the outside.
And finally, the last paragraph. You need to listen to the husband. It must be remembered that a one-sided conversation will not bring great results. So you give him to speak. No need to wait from the man an apology, but if he says about understanding the pain that she endured, and said that never again, that's a victory of the wife.
To proceed with the conversation is not necessary. After the wife realize that the husband realized the need to close the conversation. Thus, the next time he will be able to overcome their pride and go for reconciliation first.