Why a woman first comes to reconciliation?
Practice shows that with family and loved ones put up the most difficult. The explanation of this phenomenon may be the fact that the susceptibility of people to the actions of your favorite high. Resentment that was caused by loved ones, left a deep imprint. This person is not able to soberly assess and easy to survive. But, nevertheless, if a loved one was wronged, and seek reconciliation with him.
Psychologists suggest women to go for reconciliation first. The reason for this they consider the fact that it is easier to do this because of the stronger emotional side. This is not wrong, but it's not just forgiveness. If a woman comes to reconciliation first, it means that deep down, she forgave her husband.
How to get your husband first to go to reconciliation?
The main reason she doesn't want to forgive before it, is the fear that this situation will happen again. And then the husband will understand that you don't have to put up with the wife first, because she will always do it for him. Thus, he will not consider himself guilty, and his behavior under such circumstances will become the norm.
The question arises, why would a man that will always hurt his wife without a twinge of conscience. But unfortunately, life is arranged so that not a single man is imperfect. They may not notice their mistakes, but that is the reality. Therefore, the easiest and most effective way to indicate the person's faults is to make him feel the same for yourself.
Not enough just to want to reconcile with your husband, you need to be able to make it so that he realized his guilt. You need to make him realize the mistakes he committed not to repeat them in the future. Here you need to act wisely, controlling his emotions. There are several stages of conversation with her husband:
1. Indication husband on his guilt.
2. To make a man learned how to listen.
3. The transition to the essence of the problem.
4. Listening to the arguments of the husband.
As for the first step, then sometimes a man just doesn't know about his guilt, but may not be suitable to the wife of pride. Perhaps during the scandal, the wife insulted him so that he doesn't want to put up first. However, the reason may be that the husband is just sure he is right. He looks at circumstances only from one point of view.
Whatever the situation may be, there are reasons why the husband believes that truth is on his side. You need to understand that it, and its worldview is at odds, so you need to point out to him the existence of another point of view.
In the second paragraph you need to get your husband to listen to yourself. To start you just need to apologize. This will include person to person, and he wants to listen to it. And this is exactly what you need now is wife.
If you look at life correctly, we can understand — there's always something to apologize for. It may be harsh words and elevated tone, and impatience. Just need to explain man, for what sounded apology.
Now you can move on to the next item. Is to explain to my husband my point of view, not using in his speech, the unions "but", "a", "only". Thus it is necessary to try not to switch sides. You must describe to her husband the feelings and the pain she experienced during an argument. So you can show him how it looked from the outside.
And finally, the last paragraph. You need to listen to the husband. It must be remembered that a one-sided conversation will not bring great results. So you give him to speak. No need to wait from the man an apology, but if he says about understanding the pain that she endured, and said that never again, that's a victory of the wife.
To proceed with the conversation is not necessary. After the wife realize that the husband realized the need to close the conversation. Thus, the next time he will be able to overcome their pride and go for reconciliation first.
Advice 2: What to do if husband doesn't want to listen to his wife
Between a man and a woman in a marriage, sometimes there are conflicts and quarrels. One of the reasons for misunderstanding is the unwillingness of the husband to listen his wife.
Why husband not listening to wife?
In the study of this question raises another: whether the obligation of the husband to listen his wife. Maybe Vice versa, the wife should obey her husband? Because the husband is the head of the family.
In some cases, saying that the husband should obey the wife is wrong. The wife herself must ensure that the husband began to respect her, and, accordingly, to listen to her opinion, and try to solve their family issues with her. After all, judge for yourself, you will never listen to the opinion of the person who to you is not important or simply does not cause your respect, that is, has no credibility. If the wife day in and day shows his stupidity and can't anything be helpful to your husband, of course, the husband begins to neglect her advice, considering them pointless. In such cases, the husband will always be around to contradict his wife. He instinctively starts to contradict all the allegations of his legal wife and will do the opposite.
What wife, and husband
Almost everything in the house from his wife. Sometimes you have to reeducate your men, and many of them have such quality that you never would have guessed, and it is not even about the bad traits of his character. For example, before the wedding, my husband always said that to do women's chores, he is not going because it's humiliating. And suddenly after the wedding, the next feast, the husband got up and washed all the dishes or cleaned the house. This action is quite normal. Do not think that you will now be able to command husband. He just helped you to fulfill your responsibilities.
Often women want to show the people how they raise their husbands in order to raise its dignity and authority. But it is not. The more the wife shows that she has influence on her husband, the more humiliating it, and the moment will come when it all will get bored and he will no longer listen to wife and do not reckon with its opinion. Simply show your beloved your true wisdom in the advice, and he will feel that he has a need for you.
What are you trying to change your husband, no one should know except you, not even your husband. Better he thinks that everything he does comes only from his own ideas and concepts, not according to your instruction. Men are the stronger sex, and they will never allow to be told and controlled. However, keep in mind the proverb: the husband is the head and the wife is the neck (where I want to go and turn the head).
If your husband does not listen to you, look for yourself, maybe you have something wrong doing. Will never be able to achieve success with scandals and misunderstandings. Make your husband feel how you need him, just don't show off like that. Be gentle, quiet, peaceful, wise, kind, and just then your husband will be attracted to you, and I want to make you something nice.
Advice 3: What to do if husband doesn't want to listen to his wife
One of the conditions of a happy marriage is mutual understanding. However, sometimes women can be difficult to get through to their spouses. The husband listened to the wife, you need to find an approach to it.
Presentation of information
Maybe, the husband isn't listening to you because you are so convey information. When you want something to tell your spouse, remember that men are better grasp the essence of the conversation, but don't pay any attention to the numerous details that girls seem so important and interesting.
Start a conversation with the chief and not deviate from the topic during the conversation. It happens that the wife jumps from one object to another discussion, and her husband, which is difficult to focus on this monologue, just shut off.
Choose a good time to talk with your spouse. If he came home tired, hungry and cranky is not the best time to discuss with him some important things.
Wait until he comes back in a good mood, and then start a conversation.
Maybe you believe that the husband isn't listening to you, just because he doesn't do in your opinion? So you have a reason to try to Express their opinion in a different form. Perhaps you are too categorical in its recommendations, and the spouse not listening to you solely because of stubbornness and male pride.
To promote their ideas must be gently and unobtrusively, to a spouse thought that a brilliant idea occurred to him. If you care not to take away from the husband the authority of the head of the family, and to keep the interests of your family, you will listen to this advice and change tactics.
Try not to cut your husband, do not scold him for his mistakes and forget such unpleasant for men's ears the phrase, "I told you so".
Show an example
If you want the husband consulted with you and consider your opinion when making important decisions, show the first example. Maybe you're acting too independently and demonstrate that the solution you no matter the opinion of the spouse. In this case, it is natural that the faithful responds to you the same.
Create your family a real team whose members respect, appreciate and love each other. You first have to begin to cultivate such family values, and then demand the same behavior from her husband.
Maybe your better half does not listen to you, consider what you do not understand what you tell me. He doesn't trust your opinion, because he thinks your judgment is superficial.
Show competence in the issue that you discuss with your husband. Collect information about the exciting for you and prepare convincing facts that will help you make the spouse of a supporter.
Advice 4: How to make husband had always wanted just a wife
A long stay under the same roof and sharing household somewhat blunting the tensions between the spouses. Making love is transformed into execution marital debt. To avoid this, you will need to make some effort.
Take care of yourself, not a husband
Men love with their eyes. Trite, but true. Exhausted with household chores wife in a Bathrobe and worn Slippers is unlikely to cause sexual desire. And in the expression "conjugal duty" the key will be the word "duty". Cleaning the bath, it is possible to sacrifice for a visit to the hairdresser. Put some of the work on her husband or children if their age allows.
Spend more time with herself and cares about their appearance. Smooth skin, slim figure, new hair, sexy lingerie – all this makes a woman confident. Confident and beautiful woman attracts the eye of other men. Men always want women who like. And your husband is no exception. The logical chain is very simple.
Experiment in the bedroom
According to statistics, over 50% of women use the denial of sex by husband as punishment or for educational purposes. Not getting pleasure at home, your husband will go find it elsewhere. Do not deny my husband sex, but rather take the initiative. Seducing your own husband and you can be fun. It needs to feel desired and sexy. Often remind him how he's an amazing lover. Romantic dinner with champagne by candlelight, smoothly flowing into the night love is a great idea.
Think about what the husband may wish for other women, not because they are better but because they are different. Become for him, make his sexual fantasies. He wonders who are waiting for him in the bedroom – obedient slave or a powerful mistress. Certainly over the years of marriage you have found those positions in which both have fun. However, variety never hurts. Want to keep passion in a sex shop, view an erotic film, flip through the Kama Sutra. Let them know that you are willing to experiment. Sexual fantasies will always be in the head of your husband, so that they may be directed at you.
Keep your distance
According to research by the renowned psychotherapist Esther Perel, men and women experience the greatest attraction to your partner when they are apart and look forward to the joy of meeting. Do not have to go in different cities to allow her husband to get bored. You can distance yourself and at home. Create your own space. It is not necessary to dissolve in the Affairs and concerns of the family. Find something for yourself. Go to cafes with my friends, in the gym, in the pool, but at least the courses of cutting and sewing. If your evening conversations are reduced to the discussion of assessments of children and tomorrow's menu, you turn to her husband in an open book, to read which is not so exciting. You need to have interests to be interesting to others.