In a situation of adultery for help to a psychologist often turn those who have experienced the betrayal. And, as a rule, appeal to women. Men tend to try to cope with the change of the second half on their own, often with the help of available "assistants", such as alcohol. Of course, it is always the wrong way to restore emotional balance.
Cheating is always a crisis situation. It is often accompanied by intrapersonal conflict. How to be in this situation next? To forgive or not to forgive? Maybe you need to avenge reviled relationship? These and similar questions often arise on the background of the raging emotions.
The one who is trying to find appropriate responses, often to comfort himself with this task can not. The pain of betrayal reduces the ability to soberly assess the situation, plan their future behaviour in relation to the betrayed partner.
The main question is: to forgive or not to forgive betrayal? The way you answer to this question often depends on the conditions of formation of your personality in childhood. Remember the situation from childhood when you had to feel guilty for pranks or more serious offenses. If you forgive the parents, it meant that you accept the way you are, with all your weaknesses and shortcomings.
But in a situation of betrayal it is the deceived person is faced with the need to forgive the guilt of another. And what a lasting resentment, fear of being alone, lack of past warm relations in the family? Yes, often entering into conflict of doubt about whether to continue to keep the family together.
Alas, there are no universal recipes on how to build the future life and relationships after infidelity does not exist. And responsible decisions a person in such a difficult life situation, will have to make. Including, have to take responsibility for those decisions.
The most common recommendations relate only to responses in the acute phase situation. First of all, you must come to a smoother state, to remove unwanted emotions. Try to understand why you lowered on top of the cheating situation. Could it trigger something in your own behavior? To critically evaluate themselves and their behaviour in the conflict.
Find an opportunity to talk. It is not important who will become a listener – a professional psychologist, mother or close friend. You must speak aloud what you feel about the situation of infidelity. Most of this acting out of emotions allows you to alleviate the worries and to remove the inevitable consequences of malicious stress.
Most important rule – beware immediately take a quick, hasty and emotional decisions. Unfortunately, the consequences are not quite deliberate actions is not always easy to fix.