Do not interfere in the relationship between daughter-in-law and son, even if you think that you know better how to build a family. Provide young themselves: they will understand their problems. In some cases, if the daughter-in-law asked you to help her. However, explain that you will not do this all the time: young to learn, not turning to parents for help constantly.
Talk to sister-in-law calmly, avoid lecturing tone, morals, do not try to show their superiority. Talk friendly and kindly, smile. Daughter-in-law probably otzerkalivat your behavior and try to please you.
Trust his son's choice and don't upset the daughter, because she is not worthy of your boy. Husband loved it, and this means that it has many appealing features. Do not consider her a bad wife just because she doesn't fit your ideal daughter-in-law. If a woman does not like you, at least try to behave with her politely and calmly.
Don't think daughter-in-law robs you of the attention and love of the son, and especially don't blame her for that. The love for his wife and the love of a mother is completely different. Don't insist that young often visited you and do not come to visit them every day, because young families may be your case.
Don't let the daughter-in-law advice of an intimate nature and never enter the room without the young demand. However, if the wife of the son she asks you for advice, you can give it. Remember that she's still learning, and you can help with their wisdom when it is needed.
If you live together with daughter-in-law, calmly react to the way she runs her household. No need to teach a girl to cook, clean, do Laundry, etc if she asks. If you see that the daughter is trying to help you with the housework – don't reject her help, even if you think that the young woman is doing everything wrong. Be patient.
Advice 2: How to behave with my son
When a child from a quiet baby turns into restless child who constantly runs away and does not listen, the first time the mother does not know how to handle him. But if a woman is able to find out what makes her son so, it would be easier to understand what Chad and how to behave parents.
Often believe that home and school with the girls more trouble than boys. But more and more it appears that boys lack confidence, so they learn and behave worse than the more self-confident to their peers. Psychologists say that boys are no less in need of the proper education from childhood, which will be key to their success and happiness in the future.
Keep in mind that in preschool age boys to a greater extent is produced by the male hormone testosterone. Which makes them uncontrollable, sometimes aggressive and increases the likelihood that at school they will have some problems. So keep in mind that due to the influence of testosterone, your son may: pretend to be the Batman, Schwarzenegger, then just a tough guy from an action movie; think of dramatic plane crashes, trains and cars; to provide an outlet for accumulated energy, playing football, running a race or during a game to create unbearable noise and rumbling; become irritable, aggressive, overbearing. Think of the effect of hormones on the behavior of the son for granted, because during puberty the level of testosterone in his blood reaches a pretty significant concentration.
Remember that the emotional needs of boys much higher than girls. They are sharper fear of separation from parents has a stronger impact on them. They are more difficult than girls to Express their feelings. Most often it is boys required assistance in the development of such communication skills as communication, the ability to share, ability to argue without fighting. Unfortunately, instead of to fill the need of the son in the expression of feelings, parents, on the contrary, try to give his character this quality as much as possible. After all, he's the future man. Never do this. In any case, do not focus on active games, even if your son is not dealing with what, in your opinion, should engage the boys, and what he likes. You should not tease son a "wimp" or "sissy" when he cries expressing their feelings.
Please note that for a boy it is very important to spend enough time with his father, who from birth have to take an active part in the upbringing of his son. Baby will follow daddy all his actions, to adopt male behavior, and all that the father will speak, will affect his views and further development. Therefore, the joint holding of free evenings and weekends should be a standard practice.
Remember, in the early years boys increasingly intensified work of the right hemisphere of the brain. So your son will prefer the physical and practical classes. You may not be excited about catching beetles, dismemberment slippery worms or climbing trees. But despite the fact that you can be in constant expectation of accidents during the game, try to provide the child himself. This will allow it to expand its field of activity and horizons.
Advice 3: How to behave with boys
Childhood and adolescence is very important to form relationships with the opposite sex. It was during this period girls learn how to behave with boys, define their position in the team and build the optimal pattern of behavior. Relationships with peers in adolescence can lay the Foundation for a harmonious adult life.
You will need
- - helpline.
Try to make the boys respect you. This feeling should be the basis of their relationship to you. For this, first of all, you need to foster respect for self. Be confident, don't react to stupid jokes, don't let boys treat you frivolously or familiar. However, the arrogance in this case is not acceptable because it will only alienate you from others. Communicate with peers with dignity, but without the snobbery.
Do not make friends with those who you really don't like. In childhood and adolescence arise first feelings and novels. Don't be afraid to refuse the boys who did not cause you liking. Learn to say "no": it will bring you many benefits in the future.
If you want to fit in with the boys, not necessarily to share all their "male" Hobbies. Enough to respect what they are addicted to, and cheer for them at sporting events, interested in music and films they like. Be an open and friendly person, but don't forget that you are a girl.
Try to make the boys feel a real man next to you. At this age it's pretty simple, because for teenagers is very important the approval of others, recognition by others of their positive qualities. Be weak, ask for help and protection, if necessary. Cheer for their victories, support in difficult undertakings, and in any case, do not humiliate, especially when we are talking about physical strength.
In a difficult situation, ask the advice of a more adult you trust. It can be mom, older sister or even a teacher. In some cases you can call an anonymous hotline. The side view will help to settle some problems with the boys.
Advice 4: How to find a common language with the daughter-in-law
Grumpy and omnipresent the mother-in-law - the eternal way of many jokes. But in practice, it is not necessary to conform. Where correct joint effort to create in the house an atmosphere that will provide all desirable comfort and help to find a common language.
Do not teach my daughter life. Your right to give advice, but to accept it is not her responsibility. Do not push and do not demonstrate the superiority of their experience and skills. Better to unobtrusively encourage the ability to send sister-in-law in the right direction.
Be careful and tolerant, shut your eyes to petty domestic troubles, to be wise and keep silent where the dispute may arise out of nowhere. Tact and understanding will certainly be appreciated, even if it takes time.
Don't say that you get better, whether cooking or cleaning the house. Show leniency, you're older and have gained more practice in my life. But once you were young mistress, beginning to understand the subtleties of farming. Help her to evolve in her endeavors, especially with criticism.
Become sister friend. Don't get in a quarrel the son and his wife, remember, this is their family business, in which the third has no place. And certainly not worth it, not understanding, to stand on the side of the son. If you need to take part in the conflict, take a force of reconciliation, so that, with your help, they were able each other to hear.
Don't be afraid to show gentleness and restraint, leaving the rigor with dissatisfaction over the threshold. Caring and sincere participation in the life of loved ones will be the main guarantee that you will always be a welcome guest in the home of his children.