Treat everything that happens with humor. Imagine that everything that happens between you and mother is just part banal Comedy film in which you play a major role. Himself, laugh at himself, at her.
If the mother in law without your knowledge has made changes to the interior of your apartment or Perepadia my husband's things, fine. Don't take this as a infringement on your territory. Relax and get pleasure from this assistance.
If the mother begins to criticize you, try to switch her attention to something else. For example, call the children and ask them to read memorized a poem for her. Parry her attack with a friendly smile.
Remember that confrontation does not lead to anything good. Mother-in-law will probably tell the son that you hurt her feelings. Why splash out the accumulated resentment somewhere on the side. Sports, for example.
Try hanging out with her more alone time. Take a walk in the Park, go to the theatre or to the store. Let her know that you can become friends.
If the mother-in-law is configured openly hostile, ask her directly what it is you are not satisfied. Explain to her that you love her son and I wish him the best. The main thing - do it quietly, without aggression, so as not to provoke the mother-in-law for insults and not to aggravate the situation.
Be patient and don't expect instant results. Sometimes, to win the favor of mother-in-law and not to be offended by it, requires many years.
Remember that for many years your husband was in the heart of another woman – his mother. Maybe when you have kids of your own, you'll understand what motivates your mother and the fear she feels, knowing that her son's life there was another woman who could minimize his contact with the mother. So do not be offended by the mother-in-law to join her in the conflict, because it has all the chances to ruin your relationship with your husband. You don't know whose side he would take in a conflict situation between you and mother.