If your goal is to get a man in undivided use, to stand on ceremony with his wife not necessarily. So you can just tell her about your affair with her man. In most cases, the offended opponent kicked unfaithful husband out of the house. However, this method is fraught with the fact that your lover may never forgive such initiatives and this will not to you.
Much easier, say the psychologists, not to go into conflict with the wife of your beloved, but instead, befriend her. However, be prepared for the fact that not every betrayed woman will want to have something in common. Own initiative does not show, wait for that moment when you realize that it is not only ready, but she wants to meet with you and talk.
Be ready, to gain her trust and agree that a you will share one man in two will be difficult. However, nothing is impossible. Just if you both are wise enough to understand her husband and lover, and then to find a common language easier. After all, there are a number of men who lack only one woman. And with this they can not do anything. If they have the ability to adequately contain both one and the other woman, and to negotiate will be easy.
Alternatively, you can just accept its presence, the truth is not to seek and be content with your position mistress. This is one of the easiest ways to co-exist with my wife's lover - don't need to see anyone, nothing to discuss and consider. If you agree to always settle for the role of the second plan, then the spouse of the man she loved to bother not necessarily.
The main rule, do not rush to the explanatory conversations, accusations and arguments without thinking. To start, sit, breathe and think carefully about everything. Weigh all the pros and cons of either of your decision, think about what awaits you when you open the card before the wife loved. If you are tired of being a mistress and want a stable relationship, not necessarily to destroy someone else's family. Simply put the point in the novel with a non-free man and find a partner suitable to you only.