Put yourself point in your relationship. For this we need to talk peace with the initiator of the breakup and to Express what you have inside. This conversation will create a psychological sense of completed action and make it easier for you to accept the separation. In those cases when it is impossible or ex-boyfriend doesn't want to chat, send him a letter or record a voice message.
Often resentment on the thrown of the beloved causes suffering more than the sense of loss. In this case, psychologists advise to hold a symbolic act of farewell. To do this, come up with some kind of ritual and will make it. For example, find a large rock and imagine that it symbolizes your failed relationship. Take it to the river and throw it, mentally imagining that with him and throw away all your negative emotions. Good effect and has the act of destruction of photographs and gifts former partner. However, this must be the last option. Indeed, after many years, you may want to remember all the good things that happened.
The best way to deal with a breakup is to start a new relationship. They do not necessarily have immediately become friends. Make friends with a nice man and communicate with him. Just try not to completely dissolve this relationship and start living life a new partner, becoming his shadow. This is guaranteed to lead to where you started parting. Don't sacrifice their time and career for a relationship - appreciate yourself.
Unfortunately, all people tend to repeat their mistakes due to the fact that once and for all acquired a certain pattern of communication. Most often, this occurs unconsciously in childhood. But as an adult and having failed in a love relationship, you should think and analyze their behavior. What you don't than scare partner? This can help you childhood memories about the relationship between parents. Change your style of communication and do not commit the old mistakes.
And the last one. To fully accept a breakup, it takes time. Your body, brain needs to reorganize and get rid of emotional and physical dependence. Even if you quit Smoking, it takes some time. And you have the situation much more complicated. The main thing – do not allow yourself to lose heart and motivate yourself positively. Thoughts often come true. Draw yourself mentally of the person with whom you will be happy and this man will soon appear on your horizon.
Advice 2 : How to survive the separation from loved ones
Parting with a loved one - a common life situation. Awareness of the necessity of this step is painful, the doing of deals a real blow. However, sometimes you simply cannot avoid.
Accept the fact of parting. Do not try to detain the person to pressure him or beg to come back. If there is a need to leave, it speaks about the impossibility to move on to the specific life period.
In the end, this person has the right of choice and freedom. Let him go, and mentally, ceasing to entertain the hope of a magical resumption of relations. You'll only torment yourself and put an end to their own progress.
Understand that if you are destined to meet again, only after certain changes in the characters of both. But not in its current state.
Work constantly with irrational thoughts that will torture you at first, after a breakup. This self-deprecating thoughts filled with despair. Person comes to mind that nobody else will love that he'll never meet the right partner. Identify them, write down in the form of quotes on paper and analyze. Look for the basis and proof for each of them and understand that they do not have one confirmation. There are a number of psychological techniques for working with irrational thoughts, which can be freely found on the Internet.
Forgive a dead man or yourself, if you see his guilt. Understand that in a breakup is to blame and almost always both. Everyone will still be a truth in my head. Besides, holding grudges means to continue to be attached to someone. Forgiving, you leave his guilt on his conscience, and free yourself.
Each crisis event is a test for a person that can make him stronger. Wallow in self-pity – the way to the bottom. Analyze your relationship, find flaws and errors. At the end of this analysis you will be armed with new knowledge and will be able to avoid a repeat situation in the future.
Set yourself proper goals for the near future, namely, to self-improvement. Try to work on your shortcomings, focus on his personality. Cease to dwell on the subject of new relationships, they will come in due time.
In the first year after a serious breakup is not recommended to build a new relationship, because inside you still won't find equilibrium. Your self-esteem will be low during this period, you will look for a partner on the criterion of similarity to the departed. It will help build constructive relationships.