That means, first insults, and then kisses
In fact – it's an emotional roller coaster. In such a relationship, constantly there is a sharp transition from love to hate and back again. Constant tension and intensity of emotions are fed by the connection between the couple. It seems that such relations are very fragile. In fact, they can last for many years. This happens because the girl falls into a kind of dependence on the young man. After all, he vigorously expresses his love and apologizing after a quarrel.
Do not try to change man
At the beginning of the relationship both partners adapt to each other. They gradually understand how best to do with each other. In the normal course of relations, the girl quite a few times to Express their dissatisfaction with any action of the young man towards her, so he adjusted his behavior. If not, you should not try to alter the character of the guy. It is not necessary to hope that the girl of his love can change him. If a man wants a relationship, he will do everything in his power, he will change his behavior himself in order to keep this love.
When the guy from time to time offends the girl, then rapidly apologizes, promising not to do that, she must clearly understand that it is unlikely that anything will change. It is important to make a conscious choice: if she would consent to such a relationship? If she accepts this young man as he is?
To get out of the position of the victim
In its extreme expression, this model of the relationship between the girl and guy leads to domestic violence. Psychologically there is little difference between insults and physical violence: both the cruelty to the woman.
It is important to understand that relationship building is always both partners. Both man and woman make their own contribution. It is easy to blame the guy who insults a girl. Indeed, the barbs against the weaker sex – it is ugly. But then the girl makes a way to treat. It stands in the position of the victim. First, it will allow itself to insult, then a light slap, and ends with a beating.
To get out of the position of the victim can be difficult. And sometimes simply impossible without the help of others: friends or psychologist, for example. The first step for this is the realization of their benefits from the relationship with this young man. The girl should clearly admit that it gets from such a relationship. After all, if she did not stop seeing that guy after the first insults her, then relations have value for it. Rather, both are dependent on adrenaline: reconciliation after the scandal and insults is usually very rapid. The intensity of emotions is maintained constantly. While in a healthy relationship infatuation fades, giving place to the calm of love, respect and friendship. And from such a calm of love, young people get bored.
To make an informed choice
If the girl herself is well aware of why she remains in the relationship with the young man, she retains the levers of control of my life. She can consciously make choices and not to follow blindly for her man. The choice of each particular person - whether to stay in such a relationship where a guy allows himself to insult her. But, even stopping to meet with a guy, she needs to analyze their own behavior: why was she allowed to be treated like that? After all, if the girl won't understand, you risk to build a new relationship, which will have the same problems with a young man.
