To learn to forgive, you need to decide to take responsibility for their own emotions and experiences. With bitterness, people often say: "How can I forgive, as I then did!" But this approach demonstrates that the person responds to an external stimulus and responds to him. To forgive old grievances is important, not because you are doing a favor to their abusers, "releasing" them of their sins, but because you throw this old garbage out of your own soul. Decide to determine what to keep inside and what to get rid of.
Forgiveness of injuries is not based on trying to change the past: this can be done. But you can change your own attitude to the incident, to try to erase the bad memories. So the first thing, realizing that forgiveness depends only on you and what you need it, try to look at my life philosophically. Try to understand what motivated those who have given offense. Sometimes to examine the situation in detail is very helpful, this is sometimes enough to forgive.
Once you realized that you no longer hold a grudge against the perpetrator, your emotions can still try to follow the beaten track: in my head will arise negative thoughts. The fact that the human brain gets used to thinking a certain way. So, when you start working on the offense, at the same time start close monitoring of their thoughts. Capture the negative thoughts and get rid of them. If you do this in a rational manner does not work, you can be distracted by something pleasant. Deliberately tune to a positive perception every morning.
Try to get rid of negative emotions of resentment. To do this, you need to consistently do two things. First, write in detail how it all happened and what you felt. Most likely, emotions will overwhelm you, you can start to cry, worry about it getting hurt again. When you calm down, repeat the procedure. When you write a few times their feelings, they will subside and become much less intense. To Express their pain, to release it from within is very important. This method can be very heavy to carry alone, if the injury is serious or the offense is deep and fresh. To work better in this case with a psychologist.
When emotions come out, you will feel some devastation. This is normal. Now, again, capture the whole story, but change the ending. Make all ended well. Try to imagine a positive finale in detail. This enables you to replace bad emotions are good.
The man whose soul has accumulated a lot of grievances, is literally torn apart by them. He tortures himself with thoughts about revenge, it's about how hard he is and how unfairly I treated him. Indeed, many of the grievances people get undeserved. The problem of storing the old offense is that even if you find a way to revenge or life will do it for you, you will not be easier. Man that hurt, feels like a victim, even if the aggressor got his punishment. The abuser just initiated the process, and further self-destruction already carries himself hurt.