Always listen to your partner and don't try to defend himself. Your loved one is upset, and sometimes it is enough just to speak. The attempt to protect themselves will be perceived as neglect on your part. Your loved one seething emotions, let them vent, and then calmly try to discuss the problem. Use the technique of active listening.
After you dry up the stream of charges need to apologize. Tell me what you know about the situation, agrees that a problem exists, and initiate a discussion.
Try to find solutions to problems together. Take the time to make a radical proposal. Turn the discussion to was decided mutually that it was in the interests of both parties, and then to realize it would be easier.
If you are taking the decision are not satisfied with the opposite direction in advance will offer some kind of compensation. Friend much easier to transport your absence at a family celebration, if in return you offer her an evening together at a fancy restaurant.
If the initiator of discussion of problems are you sure the timing is right. It is unlikely your partner will accord due attention to your claims if will rush to an important meeting. You need to be sure that you have enough time. If the topic of discussion is really important, agree a time when you will be able to discuss this issue.
You can't know for sure what happened until you hear from your partner. Don't get carried away with telepathy. If you want to know, just ask. Sometimes the most extraordinary things have the most ordinary explanation. Do not waste your nerves.
Do not bring the situation to the limit. If you feel that you lose control, you better take a break. Still nothing constructive now will not work. Relax, take a break for 10-15 minutes, take a walk and calm down. You can then return to the discussion of the problem. Try to finish the conversation on a positive or neutral note.
Do not quarrel on the people. Put on any showdown in a public place taboo. Never quarrel, do not start to sort things out in front of strangers. Agree in advance about this rule. And certainly, never invite as arbitrators of the dispute of your friends or relatives. It is only your relationship, and here, as in bed – the third wheel.