If you do not, you can experience unnecessary frustration when the realities become apparent. One such option – when you learn that the man of your dreams was not only married, but also that he has a child from his first marriage. Regardless of the circumstances of his divorce and relationship with a child, you can use some of the techniques in communication, to neutralize possible negative consequences.
- Don't hide from your man doubts, including about whether you need to meet his child. If you have no children, and you're not going to become a mother, you may not want to involve his child in your relationship, especially if you just started Dating. Regardless of your intentions, maintain openness to ensure mutual understanding.
- Try not to speak and not even to mention the ex-wife of your men, when you are dealing with him as a child. Even if you know her personally, and not happy about it, you need to respect the fact that she is the mother of this child. If you let a nasty comment about her in front of the child, it can ruin the relationship between your man and his ex-wife.
- Be understanding when your man at the last moment cancel an appointment with you, to devote himself to the care of the child. Sometimes a relationship with a man, bound, go by the wayside in relation to these obligations.
- If you also have a child from a previous marriage, do not rush to introduce your children until you have confidence in the strength of the relationship. Children can make friends, and if you and this man break up, they will break even more than you do because you are all adults. Until you marry this man, don't call him baby brother or sister your child.
- Make peace with the fact that if the ex-spouse of your man has custody of the child, and the two of you get married, part of your total income will be spent on maintenance. In addition, you may be involved in possible litigation. Although divorce legally terminates the marriage related conflicts can continue for many years.
- Find the positives that brings his fatherhood in your relationship. If your man is a good father, most likely, it will affect how much responsibility he applies even to small things. In addition, you will understand that it is more loving and tender than a typical bachelors.
Advice 2 : As it is impossible to build a relationship with the baby
An example is the request to leave you alone. Variations of this phrase a lot. When a child often hears similar expressions, the model of the relationship parent-child is being adjusted, pushing back the role of the baby from the first position.
The following phrase "You're so...". With this expression you hang a variety of labels on their child. Most of them are adjectives: stupid, capricious, lazy.
Most parents turn to the children, please stop crying. These words make it clear to your child that the cause of his illness and his feelings don't matter. When the baby cries, it is necessary to show your attention and care.
Never, under any circumstances, do not compare your child with other children, even brothers or sisters. This behavior may provoke jealousy and negative reactions.
When you are in a hurry, you begin to adjust and a child. And he, unfortunately, makes everything too slow for me. Perhaps you have never noticed this slowness, and it's not annoying. If a parent will always blame the kid in that he does everything slowly, the risk of develop in the child certain complexes. In addition, affected and self-esteem.
If you decided to praise your child, then use a different phrase, not a worn-out. When it is often the use of praise is impaired.
What could be wrong with what you offer child care? Nothing, if you don't use it every day. Otherwise, the child will initially focus on the failure. He is confident that he will make the parents.
In the quest to soothe the baby and the adults giving him exactly what has been arranged is hysterical. So you are telling him he can to manipulate you.
"Quick shut up, now calm down, hurry, hurry..." with a child you can afford to talk like that. The kid is not offended by such words, but rather the opposite. His behavior becomes directly proportional to what you seek. Moreover, in adolescence, he will become a closed and alienated.