How can you love and hate at the same time

In psychology there is a special term for someone who manages to love and hate at the same time: ambivalent feelings. This ambivalent feelings towards someone when fear and pity, love and hate, aversion and attraction are combined in one complex "cocktail of emotions".

Ambivalent feelings can be temporary. In a situation of stress or uncertainty in any sphere of life increased level of anxiety. This quality makes a person "stuck" in their choice, even small things. In such moments it's difficult not to determine the feeling to a specific person, but to choose the yogurt in the store. Relaxation and analysis of problems that lead to background anxiety help to get rid of this scourge.

Love and hate can occur periodically from partner to partner. In this case, we can assume that a person has conflicting ideas about the ideal soulmate. Some people mix love and hate invigorates, gives thrills. So they love, for example, to find "bad guys" and try to transform them into good. The complex interactions, conflicts and reconciliation give special meaning to this unusual love. In addition to the occasions for pleasant emotions provoked and the reasons for the hatred. But if you want to get rid of such passions, we must define a list of mandatory qualities of a future partner, to understand which of them are mutually exclusive of each other, and make choices towards those "poles" that are more important.

The ambivalence of some people is always present. It can manifest itself not only in the mixture of love and hatred for your significant other, parent or child. But against inanimate objects and situations. In this case it makes sense to get tested for the presence of neurosis. The fact is that ever-present duality of feelings are sometimes characteristic of neurotics, which is a mental disorder that should get rid of. Otherwise it may lead to serious consequences for human health. But no need to hurry with the diagnosis itself: ever-present duality of emotions – not always a sign of psychological trouble.

The contradiction of the ideals of a loved one can lead to chronic combination of love and hate the second half. Sigmund Freud shared ideals in the primary and secondary fixation. Fixing he called the list of mandatory qualities of a perfect lover. He managed to prove that man has two stages in the development when it is particularly sensitive to the formation of ideals. The first stage covers the ages of 3 to 5 years, usually the standard of the beloved in this period becomes the parent of the other sex. List of qualities this person forms the "primary fixation". The second stage, when a secondary fixation, occurs during adolescence. Usually a person that "molded" image of the ideal number two is the first love. Most often both ideal duplicate each other both in appearance and in psychological qualities. If this does not happen and there is a duality of ideals, it is considered a normal manifestation of the psyche, but leads to the fact that love without a certain proportion of the hatred in a person's life almost never occurs.