You will need
- - personal diary;
- - handle;
- - gym membership or pool;
- - face-to-face consultation with a psychologist.
Calm down and look at the situation from the outside. The fact of change is obvious, but is it worth much to dramatize the incident? Nobody died, got sick. Everything is relative. Now the incident seem very serious, scary, sad, but it will take time – a month, a year, five years and you'll have to remember about the affair with far less sharpened senses and emotions.
Think about the fact that sometimes cheating is even necessary. For what? To make you understand what in fact the person lives near you that he does not value your relationship. Than before infidelity happens, the greater will be the chances of women to break off relations with the traitor and find a truly worthy person. There is another positive Outlook on treason: the incident will reveal the existing problems of your marriage will help you to eliminate them and to continue to live together, but without the lies and deceit.
Analyze why it happened cheating: due to the loving nature of your husband, or for some other reason? What was your relationship with your spouse lately? Perhaps changing, he wanted to prove something to you? Who was the leading partner in your family? Maybe he just tired to be in the role of henpecked and he decided to feel like a real man? What was your sexual relationship – do they have enough passion, novelty, emotions?
Frankly talk to the husband about the incident, try to stay calm. To do this, refrain from the role of deceived wife, become a friend, a comrade. Ask him why he did it? Ask him to be honest. Tell me that you are very hurt and sad from the fact that the spouse betrayed you. If you feel your incident indirect guilt, tell your husband about it, decide how you will live.
Not scroll over and over again in your mind the details of what happened. Try to diversify your life, fill it with interesting things and events. Find a hobby for the soul, sign up for some courses, buy a gym membership or pool. Do not forget to monitor their appearance. Work on raising self-esteem.
Note that the temptation to sink into depression is very high. You will regret all around, you will look unhappy wife and perhaps betrayed your husband realizes the degree of his guilt, crawling to you on their knees and beg for forgiveness. However, this stereotype is false: Yes, at first you will regret, the wife will be ashamed to look you in the eye, but every day your depression will only drag you deeper and deeper, and compassionate people you will have your own Affairs and problems and they will not have to. Yes, my husband would prefer a more strong, successful and confident woman.
Keep a journal in which you record all tormenting thoughts and feelings. Leaving them on paper, fill yourself with new emotions, you need to get out of this situation a winner, namely confidence in yourself and the future, constructive anger, a sense of dignity.
If the depression tightens you more and more and you can't confront her, make an appointment with an experienced therapist. Given the characteristics of your particular situation, a specialist will be able to help you more efficiently.
If the husband decides to leave you for another woman, find strength to take the news with dignity. Don't ask him to stay, but let them know that to get back to you he can not.
Advice 2 : How to survive a cheating husband
The betrayal of a loved one is a serious blow to the couple relationships, a devoted spouse, in trust, love and everything that binds the pair. But despite this the statistics are inexorable: 3 out of 4 men unfaithful to women. To forgive or to leave - that's the main question that confronts deceived women, when they learn the truth.
You will need
- To survive the betrayal of her husband, need:
- -divorce certificate (in some cases);
- -new set Biglia;
- -a ticket to some exotic country;
- -money for counseling;
- -money for the beauty salon.
When a woman finds out about the betrayal of the first feelings that she is experiencing is pain, resentment, anger and desire for revenge. But psychologists say, do not need to be categorical. It is better to sit and think. After all, cheating in most cases is a sign that the pair lost its former warm relationship and something changed.
First, men are very jealous of appearance wife. If a woman stops to look after themselves, is dissolved and does not want to pull yourself together, sooner or later her husband will find the ideal on the side. If the wife is throwing tantrums at home with swords drawn, the man will go tuzha, where he was more comfortable. If you understand that his betrayal was part your fault, and don't want to lose it, there are a few rules that will help you survive the betrayal of a loved one.
First you need to the situation to distance. Sit down to think. But not to deal out, to later come to the conclusion that "I'm the one to blame!". Just need to present the situation as if from outside, to really appreciate why it happened. Then, you have taken yourself. What reaction awaits apostate? Right scandal. Don't make a scene. It is better to take for himself a time-out for exactly a week. At this time you can shiesty somewhere that I really wanted, but did not succeed. And there's still time to think about how you will behave further. Why for a week? Because men need so much time to first become aware of his guilt, then you must understand how it without you bad. If time passes more, and you don't come back, he has to learn to live alone, and the breakup won't seem as terrible to him.
The following paragraph will be "pamper yourself". Really that is all the time thinking about which products to buy, what need new clothes and other household stuff. Remember that you are a woman. And the woman attractive. The second way to survive a cheating husband is to go first to a beauty salon and then shopping. Most importantly do not be afraid to take a risk and completely change the image. After all, your appearance has become for him already so familiar that to see you new very unexpectedly.
If the breast is still hard, and choked up, cry and scream plenty. While you are alone. Let the tears out all the negativity. It will be easier.
Came back, forgave? Now spend together as much as possible free time. As earlier in youth. Try to be more interested in his Affairs. Find a hobby and talk with your husband. To know that you have other interests besides family. Then he'll be interested again with the wife, not the mistress.
And the main rule: if you forgive, you do not need to constantly think about the fact of treason. Get together with your spouse some new habits and traditions. Be new every time. And then he will not need to look for interesting, bright and clever on the side.