You will need
- - personal diary;
- - handle;
- - gym membership or pool;
- - face-to-face consultation with a psychologist.
Calm down and look at the situation from the outside. The fact of change is obvious, but is it worth much to dramatize the incident? Nobody died, got sick. Everything is relative. Now the incident seem very serious, scary, sad, but it will take time – a month, a year, five years and you'll have to remember about the affair with far less sharpened senses and emotions.
Think about the fact that sometimes cheating is even necessary. For what? To make you understand what in fact the person lives near you that he does not value your relationship. Than before infidelity happens, the greater will be the chances of women to break off relations with the traitor and find a truly worthy person. There is another positive Outlook on treason: the incident will reveal the existing problems of your marriage will help you to eliminate them and to continue to live together, but without the lies and deceit.
Analyze why it happened cheating: due to the loving nature of your husband, or for some other reason? What was your relationship with your spouse lately? Perhaps changing, he wanted to prove something to you? Who was the leading partner in your family? Maybe he just tired to be in the role of henpecked and he decided to feel like a real man? What was your sexual relationship – do they have enough passion, novelty, emotions?
Frankly talk to the husband about the incident, try to stay calm. To do this, refrain from the role of deceived wife, become a friend, a comrade. Ask him why he did it? Ask him to be honest. Tell me that you are very hurt and sad from the fact that the spouse betrayed you. If you feel your incident indirect guilt, tell your husband about it, decide how you will live.
Not scroll over and over again in your mind the details of what happened. Try to diversify your life, fill it with interesting things and events. Find a hobby for the soul, sign up for some courses, buy a gym membership or pool. Do not forget to monitor their appearance. Work on raising self-esteem.
Note that the temptation to sink into depression is very high. You will regret all around, you will look unhappy wife and perhaps betrayed your husband realizes the degree of his guilt, crawling to you on their knees and beg for forgiveness. However, this stereotype is false: Yes, at first you will regret, the wife will be ashamed to look you in the eye, but every day your depression will only drag you deeper and deeper, and compassionate people you will have your own Affairs and problems and they will not have to. Yes, my husband would prefer a more strong, successful and confident woman.
Keep a journal in which you record all tormenting thoughts and feelings. Leaving them on paper, fill yourself with new emotions, you need to get out of this situation a winner, namely confidence in yourself and the future, constructive anger, a sense of dignity.
If the depression tightens you more and more and you can't confront her, make an appointment with an experienced therapist. Given the characteristics of your particular situation, a specialist will be able to help you more efficiently.
If the husband decides to leave you for another woman, find strength to take the news with dignity. Don't ask him to stay, but let them know that to get back to you he can not.