For starters, note the emotions you feel in a conflict situation. Confusion, uncertainty, fear? Or, perhaps, internal aggression? That's fine, everyone has the right to experience such emotions. But in this situation they are not constructive. Therefore, the first step to the ability to give back will be the development of self-regulation.
The ability to remain calm and reasonable - a valuable skill that will be useful in many cases. To do this, start to engage in anger management and meditation. Take the situation philosophically, rate it in the scale of the Universe.
Don't forget about humor is a good way to get rid of the tension and fear of the attacker. Imagine him with a pot on his head and slowly fall on the shoulders of noodles or "slip" on his clown nose - in General, use your imagination.
Never make excuses. Thus, you only aggravate their situation, and allow the abuser to win an emotional victory over you. Justification - a consequence of guilt and the desire to look worthy in the eyes of others. Get rid of the feeling of guilt, in most cases it is unfounded and is the result of "adding" myself and the opinion of others is unlikely to change radically. If you make a mistake, admit it and offer options on how it can be corrected. But, in any case, nobody has the right to accuse you in anything unflattering shape.
Think in advance how to respond to challenging behavior. Take generic arguments, but also specific phrases, with which you can adequately get out of the situation. To slide in mutual insults are not necessary, but at the same time, don't be afraid to hurt the attacker - sometimes quite sharp response is needed to put a man on the place.
Also come to the aid of humor. In order to caustic remark to reply with a sarcastic remark, after which attack you would be pointless, you need to practice, but it's worth it.
Examine your weaknesses, there is often aimed blow. Most often it is hidden complexes or lucid but not adopted the traits of the character. Awareness and acceptance of these features removes strong emotional reaction to taunt, and you gain the ability to soberly assess the situation and adequately respond to the attacker. It is worth noting that the abuser is driven by all the same forces - the hidden complexes.
And finally, remember: to you people behave exactly as you allow them to behave.