Do I need to forgive someone who really hurt

Resentment and relationship

Almost all people sooner or later in their life are faced with resentment. Someone quickly forgets about the incident, and someone could not forgive the offender. There are grievances that are not worth to forgive. But universal recommendations on this subject does not exist. Everyone has limits beyond which he can not forgive. While hardly anyone would deny that resentment is a negative quality.

With a man who does not forgive anything, difficult to build relationships with others. In addition, a smoldering resentment – always a heavy burden on the shoulders of the person. On one side of the scale is always hurt, and on the other a desire to improve relations. If we are talking about a person you don't really need and important resentment can be easy to forget. But when the relationship with him for you are of great value, is to understand their feelings and try to forgive. This will greatly facilitate the establishment of relations. Despite the fact that most deeply we are offended it is on the people we love.

If you have wronged a loved one, you need to sit down at the negotiating table. Find out what happened. This can be sometimes very difficult. But you should always remember that the gaze of the other person completely different from yours. He may not know that I hurt you. Try to understand the motives of the offender, why he treated you that way. Whether it was the intention to inflict damage to you? Or there is an accident? Maybe the abuser has no idea about your feelings?

Why the resentment

Forgiveness is more necessary for the wronged. It is not always necessary repentance of the offender, to let go of a grudge on him. Keep track of why you hold a grudge against the man. There are cases when a person deliberately causes guilt and manipulated by the abuser. It is unlikely that such relations can be called sincere.

There is also another option of a strong offense: when a person holds it. In this case, it destroys it from the inside, directing his life towards self-destruction. Because subconsciously, we want the offender dead.

Resentment is always a requirement of a certain attitude or behavior towards themselves. To forgive, you need to understand whether this requirement is adequate or is it just pride and ego.

Forgiveness is a strong offense always requires more mental effort and time. But the psychological comfort and tranquility at the moment of release of anger is always worth it. It is not necessary to hope that as soon as you decide to forgive, resentment will evaporate. Sorry for the deep hurt takes time. In fact, the sooner you start to deal with your feelings, the better. When a grudge is long-lived in the mind, over time it acquires more sinister traits, and to forgive becomes more difficult.