It is necessary to inform the child immediately on the death of a loved one, no matter how painful in the moment you. Belated news may engender he distrust, anger and resentment toward loved ones.
Select a quiet, secluded place and ensure that there is enough time for conversation.
Talking about death should be the closest to the little people who he trusted and with whom I will share the surging grief. The more he'll find it, the easier it will adapt to new life conditions (without mom or dad).
During a call, touch the child. Take his hand, hug, sit on his lap. Physical contact allows him to feel secure, will soften the blow, will help to recover from the shock.
Revitalize yourself and say the words "died", "funeral", "death". Especially small children, when they heard that "dad fell asleep forever" may subsequently refuse to sleep. Tell the truth. If the deceased was sick, and the child knew about it, then talk about it. If there is an accident, then tell me about misery, since the moment he broke up with him. Respond to his words and feelings, watch his reaction. As far as possible, be sensitive in this moment. Forbid him not to show their emotions. Never mind the feeling of grief is the basis for psychosomatic diseases in the future.
Maybe the kid will start asking questions about what will happen to family after the funeral. Tell us what he's not hurt, not cold, not need food, light and air. Because his body is "broken" and "fix" it is impossible. But you should explain that most people recover, cope with her injuries and live long.
Tell us about what happens to the human soul, based on religious beliefs adopted in your family. If you are unsure then ask for help to the priest who will help you to choose the right words.
Spend time with the child during the period of the mournful preparations. If he behaves quietly and doesn't bother anyone, it does not mean that it needs no attention and properly understand what is happening. Find out the mood he's in, sit with him and find out what he would want. Do not berate him if he wants to play. But refuse to play with him, explaining that you're upset.
Save the baby routine. But if he wouldn't mind, ask him to assist, for example, in the table setting. Everyday things can calm even the grieving adults.
It is believed that the child may participate in the farewell with the deceased and understand the meaning of the funeral from 2.5 years. It is not necessary to force him to attend the funeral if he doesn't want to do it, or shamed for it. Tell him what will happen: the Pope in a casket, was lowered into the pit, covered with earth. At this place in the spring will be a monument and relatives can visit him to bring flowers.
Give your child to say goodbye to the deceased, tell him how to do it. And do not berate him if he will not be able to touch the deceased.
During the funeral near the child must always be the person who will be with him and be able to support him, to comfort him. And may be such that he will lose interest in the events, wants to play – this is normal. In any case, it will be the person who will be able to move with the baby, and wait for the end of the ritual.
Do not hesitate to cry in front of the kids and show your feelings: you feel sad and you it will be very bored. But try to do without the tantrums, otherwise children can get scared.
Subsequently, remember the man who died. Talking about funny incidents with him and the deceased, because laughter transformerait unhappiness in the bright sadness. This will help to understand what happened again to take him. The child has not acquired the sense of fear that someone from the family or he will die, tell him a lie and tell me honestly that people sooner or later everyone dies. But you're going to die very old and will try not to leave him alone.Do not use the image of the deceased for the kid desired behavior, for example: "don't cry, daddy taught you to be a man, and that he did not like.