Why it's scary to meet the parents of the bride or a guy

The abundance of anecdotes and "horror stories" about the relationship mother-in-law and son-in-law, mother-in-law and sister-in-law can cause real fear of acquaintance with the relatives of the girl/guy. But it is not necessary to look for partners with an orphan!

Causes of fear of relatives

Subconsciously every person entering into the relations, knows that he will have to find together with her husband and new relatives. Sometimes hot a reluctance to meet them to spoil relations within the couple.

Not the first century walk in the people jokes about parents spouse. And they always - hostile environment for the candidate to half their offspring. Certainly, these fears have roots in the tradition to give the bride away in someone else's family into complete dependence on her husband. Ancient "Domostroy" also did not add optimism to the young virgin. Mother-in-law, in most cases, sought to subordinate sister-in-law, working a rather ruthless methods.

But why, then, are not less strong fear of the guy in front of the parents of the bride? He probably came later, when the young stay in the territory of the husband ceased to be mandatory. The young husband, being in the family of his wife, immediately came under the "microscope" of the new family. The list of what it "should" have been impressively long. If the young husband could not cope with their responsibilities, mother-in-law and father-in-law began to humiliate him.

If we analyze all these situations, it becomes clear that fears of meet the parents arise from the fact that the groom or bride are not afraid to meet the expectations of their elders.

How to behave when meeting with parents

Whether or not you need to tie a close friendship with future folks depend on you and your partner in the relationship. If there is a need for additional warmth, you can try to implement it. In this case it is better to prepare in advance for the fact that you can not accept.

No relations are not rosy and perfect, especially if they involve a few generations. Search for a common language. Do not try to please at all costs, behave in a polite, correct, but natural. Ask in advance about the nature and interests of moms and dads partner, prepare inexpensive gifts. Expensive to do, it will look like bribery.

You may find it much easier to come to the knowledge of their parents. Sometimes older relatives find plenty to do and fun to have a conversation with, practically without involving the younger generation in conversation. In this case, when all the attention is not focused on you, it will be easier to overcome fear and look at the parents of the partner.

If the fear of meet the parents is too strong, perhaps, your relationship is not okay. Reluctance to bond with new relatives can talk about your subconscious denial of the marriage in General or specifically with that person.