I have long been interested in the topic of positive thinking, especially the materials and research that operate on facts. There are many experiments that demonstrate how the productivity and human health, depending on what it looks and what emotions more concentrated. Experiments Barbara Fredrickson, researcher of positive psychology at the University of North Carolina, demonstrate that positive thinking has its rewards, not only momentary, but quite long.
I will not be mistaken if I say that many moms, communicating with each other on the Playground, often Possiltum negative information: complain of her husband, children, their fatigue, in-law. On the one hand, it is a kind of group therapy: out – relieved. On the other, if you every day talking about the same thing, but do nothing to change the situation, therapy doesn't work. It is an outlet to close the chamber, but not out. Joy in life does not add up.
And what are we living for? Classic says that man is born for joy, like a bird to flight. And you probably heard that each person is the blacksmith of his own happiness. There's reports saying, "a happy mom makes a happy baby". But how to get out of the vicious circle of negative information sharing and reflection of thoughts that sadden and disturb you? Start with this: with a firm desire to be happy and to make sure that you created just for this purpose.
Tell yourself: I was created for joy! And repeat at every opportunity, not to forget.
The first step. Teach your brain to think good
You know that many thoughts we think out of habit? Yes. Many phrases and ideas are in our minds and when the opportunity to get out of there, already ready. What do you like to say often? Your favorite expression? Could it be that almost any story you rezyumiruya phrase: "In General, all bad!". Try to listen to yourself. To what you say and think. Notice all the cliches, Proverbs and sayings with negative shade. Noticed? Now here is what you do: fill your memory with new phrases and expressions with a positive connotation. And every time I caught myself on the fact that spin in my head the same Intrusive disturbing thought, the effort will throw it out of my head. And then get out of memory pre-positive phrase. It will train your brain to switch to the new way of working.
List of positive phrases and quotes every mother should make for herself, according to their nature and aspirations. This should be something encouraging, motivating.
For example:
I'm strong, I can handle it! Everything will be fine! This will pass, I am a good mother I Have a good baby we'll be fine I'm a mom and I know what to do. All children are different, but all children are good
I must stress: always, whatever you like to change in the child or the lifestyle of the family, start with yourself. The first step is the beginning of conscious thoughts about yourself and situation. If close rarely praise you and give the confidence you praise yourself. Everything you do, every everyday thing is your huge contribution to the family. See what you do with fresh eyes, rejoice and congratulate yourself.
Second step: contact with the child
The second step to positive motherhood, as I call my parenting style — notice how you think about your child and whatyou say to him. In relationships, especially long-term, also have the usual words, thoughts and actions. And it is precisely these habits, prevent all change. We carry through your entire life information about how to talk to kids, soaked, alas, not from books, but from sobstvennogo childhood and conversations around us. We hold these stereotypical phrases and do not hesitate to use them. It is time to change to new, more productive.
There is such a mass habit of loud, long and vigorously discuss the bad behavior of the child, and good to dignify only a short dry "good" (often not even looking at the results, not smiling!). And children crave attention from adults so that they agree and sometimes to the abuse, just more emotion, contact.
Try to diversify a template "good" with something more emotional and fresh. Just duty, "good" is an emotional toast. Maybe we should switch to more nutritious and a full meal? Make a new "menu": list of accolades, which you will use and to diversify the response (in case the pieces you are given).
For example: I'm so proud of you! You do it so good! Wonderful! Amazing! Incredible! You're my assistant! You are so talented!
Diversify your menu "praise" and see all the successes, especially if you are in such a situation, when it seems that praise not for that. And you try and notice. Think of a lesson in which he will definitely succeed and praise sincerely and without stint. Notice the good and focus on it — an important part of positive thinking.
The third step: the work with her husband
Third step: if your husband is not very generous with positive emotions, tell him about positive thinking. Teach your husband to praise you and the child. Tell him honestly and directly, you and the child lacks positive attention, joyful and sincere reaction. After all, man does not lose masculinity, showing feelings, but due to the fact that the whole family is trying to appreciate the achievements of each other, sincerely happy and grateful, the atmosphere in the house improved.
It so happens that only a woman is all emotional "weather in the house". But it's not quite right. In relationships everybody has to work, and emotionally too. Be honest, let's talk! Tell us what method of response is a habit, and any person capable to begin to Express more feelings. Just as we teach children polite words, adults need to learn how to speak more good words to each other.
What do you get?
Main question: what do you get? First, begin to monitor your thoughts, you will soon train to ward off thoughts-parasites, spoiling the mood and replace them with productive thoughts that increase your confidence.
Second, you will no longer stereotyped to react with you and the child, and begin to live in the here and now, to answer more vividly and emotionally. You will see for yourself how little you need to celebrate when you try to see the good in themselves, their deeds and accomplishments, which did well in the child and his or her deeds and achievements.
How positive thinking can change and improve your parenting style? It will make you stronger, more resolute and more confident, will give more powers and abilities. From positive mom is definitely better to cope with the child, and not one, because ceasing to think about the problems, start to solve them. And focus on finding the good in the end gives more reasons for joy. And shouting in the house becomes smaller, from which everyone benefits.
Although one day can not be changed, start small. Start thinking positive and see good. Stop every day to discuss, one that in life has become worse. Break the pattern and tell us that you have a good. Praise and thank each other more often.
Add this article to your bookmarks and share with friends in case you feel lack of energy. Remember: you can do anything! For a start, it is only necessary to replace unproductive habits for good.
I'd be happy to hear your comments!
Julia Raw.
Designer. Writer. Mother.
The author of the book "Positive motherhood or as easily and effectively raise children"