Advice 2: Whether you want people to take revenge for wrongs inflicted on them
The concept of revenge
Revenge is almost always the result of resentment. The scheme is very simple: a man hurt, he's hurt; he thinks how to make this depressing feeling has passed. Most often let go and to forgive, many not capable, but because expect revenge. However, few people realize that even after revenge the sinking feeling in his chest might not pass, and, probably, even will increase because of the raging of conscience or feelings of guilt.
In the global scheme of revenge can be seen at several levels: from some "childish pranks" (spread rumors, to substitute in the details, etc.) to the so called vendetta, when the two are unable to understand each other people begin to die absolutely innocent people, committed in war and be a large-scale disaster.
No wonder there is the phrase "revenge is the dish best served cold". Really, before you come up with a cunning scheme, you need to calm down and cool off. Perhaps a relaxed brain will be able to choose another, more acceptable solution to the problem.
Revenge and punishment
The expression "an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth" are generally viewed a kind of principle of justice: each person should get what he deserves. Today's reality is that the expression is seen only in a negative way, but positive things somehow missed, though is much better and more humane would be to use this phrase in the context of rewards for good deeds.
If punishment is necessary in order to restore justice in the world, revenge is determined only by the subjective perception of the situation by a specific person. So, people may think that someone wants to hurt him, and, not understanding the situation, begins to take revenge. Motivations driving the alleged abuser has not been elucidated, but the revenge has already happened. Before determining the punishment, allows identifying all peculiarities of the situation, considers the positions of both sides, and this is the fundamental difference of punishment from revenge.
To take revenge or to forgive
Naturally, resentment is better to forgive. Revenge is a destructive emotion, which, like the offense, the body and soul of man causes destructive processes.
So the main point of how to overcome his desire for revenge, a release from resentment. Forgiveness, acceptance, looking to the future, not the past – all this will help you to forget the offense and, perhaps, even to understand the offender. Those who believe in a Supreme absolute – God, the Cosmos, etc., - it is easier to forgive because they believe in a Supreme justice and the Supreme court.
Another rule that should be remembered when making any important decisions – you need to keep a "clean mind". At a time when a person is overwhelmed with emotions, mostly negative, when the hands clench into fists, and a heart ready to jump out of his chest, hardly comes into my head the best out of the situation. Many actions performed in this state, often lead to fatal mistakes and allow them to live in peace and harmony with yourself.
Advice 3: Why people cheat on each other?
This situation can occur unconsciously. The transition to a new stage of relations requires a certain crisis situation. For some, such a situation becomes treason, which, in the opinion of one of the partners can liven up the relationship, or to put them a point.
The desire to define themselves
Even in a happy marriage one of the spouses may have doubts that it lives as once wanted. If the answer is positive, then the hazards relationship is not, but in case of negative answer can begin the search of new sensations, including a new sexual partner.
There are times when infidelity occur spontaneously. This may be to blame alcohol, a certain emotional state, leading to an error, fix that will be difficult.
Women's and men's infidelity is often caused by the appearance in the child's family. The man explains treason because the wife is not giving him time, not taking care of himself, gaining weight. The woman on change can push the output of the decree. Isolation ended, the woman appears again in the society, and here it is waiting for fresh emotions, and with them having an affair.
The thirst for experience
Early marriage, lack of sexual partners before the relationship can cause one of the partners begins to feel that he could get more of a variety of emotions and feelings, if he had more partners. And the first love passes, and the couple begin to see that life is not just limited to relationships. As a rule, cheating in this case ends with the dissolution of the relationship.
The lack of attention, rudeness, cheating often mean that the offended partner is cheating trying to get revenge for inflicted wrongs.
In the absence of a full and varied sex life in marriage starts to make sense (sometimes deceptive) that the other person will be better. Situation is often a dead end – it is better from infidelity did not, the feeling was the same, but the relationship after the affair at risk.
Attempt to verify the femininity or masculinity
Sometimes sex life cools down, the man ceases to feel confident, and the woman is desirable. To prove yourself the opposite, one of the partners (and sometimes both) tries to return confidence with another partner.