To get rid of feelings of self-pity you simply because thus are the poor creatures or flawed. The pity is appropriate to a street kitten with a broken leg – it was not my fault and simply will not survive if you don't. But when you start to feel sorry for an adult who has everything right with hands and feet, you deliberately make it poor. You give him the right to use your vital resources are not being neither weaker nor unhappy, nor richer than you.
Realize that your pity is not helping your neighbor. She discourages him from wanting to make any effort to work on themselves and the arrangement of their own life. The more you feel sorry for him, the deeper he will sink in their problems and, in the end, and even accuse you in them. Times you feel sorry for him, he will soon begin to believe that he is worthy of this mercy, and will gladly allow you to deal with his life problems and providing their needs.
It is human nature to appreciate his work and effort, but it does not always adequately assesses what others are doing. Do not expect gratitude from the person you are helping from a sense of pity, it will not be simple. If you really have a burning desire to help, just shake it, even abrogate, will awaken in him the ambition and make it clear that messing with him no one is going. You can only help someone who is doing something, and not someone who just goes with the flow.
Understand that your pity is detrimental effect on the person and his soul. Replace that feeling and show love, care and attention. These feelings will be a real manifestation of mercy, will help him cope with the misfortune to arrange his life.
When the person will know that he and his fate you care about, but you believe in his strength of spirit and will, he will be happy and proud to prove to you that your faith is justified. Only in this case you will really help and even save a person, only then he will truly thank you.