Advice 1: Self - love is selfishness or the norm

Love for yourself why it is considered selfish. Many, one might even say all the psychology books give us information that until you love yourself, then you will not love nobody.
Self - love is selfishness or the norm

But once you love yourself, feel at "the top", then you are selfish, bad person! So what is the point, where the Golden mean is to love ourselves as possible, but to be a "good person". It is a choice for everyone. Selfish call those people who failed to subdue, to force to do what is beneficial to someone. And immediately for them, you become bad. But this trait is not at all.

Love for yourself, of course, you can educate, but it takes a lot of time and willpower. People with this trait have good qualities, they are not worried about every little detail of the judgment and gossip of others, they are not interested in the opinions of others, they too love themselves, to turn their attention to criticism.

So, love of self, what is bad? You are trying to impose on those people who are insecure, they are weak and susceptible to criticism and the opinions of others, they are easy to manipulate. Because loving yourself is your strength and faithful companion of life! You will never, ever allow yourself to hurt or humiliate. You know his worth! So love yourself, despite the opinions of others. Because your life only you do, and how to live it, your only choice!

Advice 2: How to cultivate self-esteem

Some people naturally have a sense of dignity. Others, alas, it lacks life. But it is fixable, because people are able to change and evolve if they face such a goal.
How to cultivate self-esteem
Instruction
1
Create a basis for such feelings. You need to find at least 10 of their positive qualities and each of them to draw in the kind of the character understandable to you. These characters need to move the pieces of cardboard. One of them can put it in your purse and the other is under plexiglass on the desktop, the third use as a bookmark in the book you are reading. In a notebook keep a transcript of each of these characters. To draw these characters better than just writing quality for two reasons. First – so you will use right hemisphere, which thinks in images and create a new image of yourself. Second – no need to worry that your list will read someone for whose eyes it was not designed.
2
Work on the speed of your movements. They must become more slow and solid. Force yourself to speak slowly, nothing spoils a significant impression as a rapid confused speech. By external changes, you will move to internal, and self - esteem will appear after you start to produce more solid impression.
3
Learn to not behave as is customary, and the way you want it. This is not necessarily provocative behavior in opposition to generally accepted notions, however, be prepared to break the rules and not to worry about it. In the West, this quality is called assertive. Recently there was an excellent literature on the development of this skill. It is to see. It is often of decency and expectations of others prevent people to make and implement the right solution. And how can there be a sense of self - esteem, if the person is scared all the time, what can I say about him other? To take into account the opinions of others necessary, but to blindly follow it is not worth it. People with a sense of their own dignity not afraid to break some rules for the case.
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