You will need
- - stationery;
- literature on the psychology of interpersonal relations.
- the literature on conflictology.
To forget and forgive the past, try to understand the cause of the conflict. Most likely, in a fit of argument the situation was perceived is not quite adequate and you could exaggerate the strength of your offense. If it has been some time and you calmed down a bit, look at the situation from the outside. Write down your story on paper – this technique will help to look at the situation more dispassionately.
Try to splash out your negative emotions. Only not surrounding people and without the aid of alcohol! Best suited for sports or creative activities. Another good way to forget a grudge is to unselfishly help those who are in trouble. Doing good to others, you will help, above all, himself.
Do not keep a grudge. If possible, immediately discuss the situation. Possible to know the motives of another person, you will understand that it is not necessary to hold it against him. If you can't discuss with him, discuss the situation with friends, counselor or priest.
Stand in the place of the offender. Think about why he did it. Perhaps, in the circumstances, he simply had no other choice. Then resentment can give way to another feeling – empathy. It's much better than to carry the negativity aimed at the other. Read the literature on conflictology and psychology of interpersonal relationships - it will help to understand the situation.
If resentment is too strong, repeat this formula: "I forgive you, (name of offender), because you (here say the essence of the conflict)". Should be repeated many times, until you feel able to let go of the situation. Depending on the degree of resentment for the job can take from a day to several months.
Remember that you forgive primarily because it is necessary for you to further productive life. So do not expect that the offender should be grateful and obliged to you for it. If he understands and realizes his guilt, apologize – well. If not, should not concentrate on this. Keep building your life.
In some cases, it seems that forgiveness is possible only if you will have revenge. But revenge will only give temporary satisfaction. Then, in most cases, comes the realization that you did the same, as the offender, then do absolutely no better than him. Therefore, all the negativity that was previously addressed to him, feel free to throw in your direction. In this situation, you will not gain spiritual growth as a result of work on oneself.
Learn to forgive not only others, but yourself. We all make mistakes. Learn to treat them as life lessons. If possible, correct them. If not, think about how it was necessary to do, and try to continue to avoid this.